Talking is Difficult

Joking is easy. Talking is difficult. This is nothing new for me, but the struggle remains. To share the broken, hurt pieces of me feels as though someone could see right through to the core of my vulnerabilities. The feeling of terror at the thought of someone learning of my vulnerabilities and once again using them against me has fortified my walls. Without these walls, the fear of feeling naked and exposed or unsafe may be felt again. Feelings that do not need to be re-experienced.

People say they are willing to listen. It is a dream to someday trust myself enough to be able to believe them. Please understand that there may not be requests for help as the irrational thought of inconveniencing someone else is often too much to overcome. Be patient, but please do not fail the buddy check of those you care about.

 

No, this is not a cry for help.