Friday, September 22, 2017

Even One Life Is Too Many

Dear you,
And I have always meant, you.
Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.

You, who were once as small as bouquet,
Who could sleep in the laughs of strangers,
Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.

You, who’s voice is someone’s favorite voice,
Someone’s favorite face to wake up to,
Nothing would be the same if you did not exist.

You, the teacher,
The starters gun,
The lantern in the night who offers not a way home,
But the courage to travel farther into the dark.

- Excerpt from “Today Means Amen” by Sierra DeMulder


When I was at my lowest, I lost sight of this. I lost sight of the fact that I mattered. I knew I was doing good things, but I had lost sight that others could see that too. That others could see the good parts of me that I thought had been lost in the dark.

People need people. People need to be acknowledged that they exist. That there is meaning to their existence. That someone out there is listening, actively listening.

Be those people. Be the people that are willing to listen and let others know that they matter.

Even one life is too many to lose.

While we should do this daily, I encourage you on the 22nd of every month to call and check your battle buddy. It takes just a moment. Military or not, we deserve to see each other tomorrow.


 Crisis Text Line 741-741
- a safe place to talk via text with a counselor when you can't or are afraid to use your voice

Monday, September 18, 2017

Friday, September 15, 2017

Tuesday, September 05, 2017

Early Morning Running Buddy

He is hard to keep up with during the first half. The last quarter I can finally pull ahead.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Even One Life Is Too Many

Things I know:
1) People need people. But not just any people. For me it is specific people. This has taken me a long time to accept. There were so many things that I was not comfortable talking about or allowing someone else to see. But through the patience and grace of other people, I now have my safe place.

2) Geography can be difficult. To be away from those people can sometimes be really difficult. While I try to be with my people as much as possible, the logistics surround that can get in the way.

3) The state of limbo is very, VERY unpleasant. There is so much up in the air for me right now. Time lines are unknown. The lack of communication within this state of limbo is causing me to find other things to try to control (probably not exactly a bad thing to be taking control of a few other things in my life).

4) My boy makes all the difference for me. I am so grateful to have rainBeau Jangles in my life. He is constant source of unconditional love that is so tangible and present.

5) I need my people.

Even one life is too many to lose. 
While we should do this daily, I encourage you on the 22nd of every month to call and check your battle buddy. It takes just a moment. Military or not, we deserve to see each other tomorrow.

 Crisis Text Line 741-741
- a safe place to talk via text with a counselor when you can't or are afraid to use your voice

Sunday, August 20, 2017

What a Weekend!

Little Clara got married this weekend...and I got to be there! While living in Paradise has its perks, being so far away from so many big events has been a big bummer for me. But not this time.
I have known Clara since she was a baby and have gotten to watch her grow up to be a beautiful and wonderful human being. She has found her forever human and cannot wait to see where this next adventure takes her.
Through bribery, I was able to convince Michelle to tag along for a weekend. We had a blast!
All dolled up for the wedding!
Deer! I was so excited!
Watching the surfers at Cowell Beach.

Disturbing nap time.

Camp. Where so many thing changed for me.

This guy hated my drone! And would not leave it alone!

Chill hammock time in the back trails of camp.
 A great long weekend.

Friday, August 11, 2017

Carrying Around the Encouragement

We all cope with stress in different ways. Some methods are healthy, while others not so much.
My current new method of coping with stressors at work is to carry around notes or letters from friends that provide a smile at random times. Currently, this letter resides in the right shoulder pocket of my uniform. The same pocket that carries my phone. Each time I reach for my phone, I am reminded that I am loved and that I matter.
It is such a little tangible object, yet it means to much to me.

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Happy Adoption Day!

Two years ago today, rainBeau Jangles officially became my boy. He was in Washington state at the time and would have to wait there while his blood work was cleared through Hawaii's quarantine process.
While he stayed in WA, he spent most of his time at a local board and train which ended up being an absolute blessing. rainBeau did not know what it was to respond to verbal cues from humans. He was not deaf, he just did not know what human sounds meant. The team at the board and train worked wonders for him and loved him through his learning process.
I met my boy in October of 2015. While he already had my heart, I fell even more in love with him when we first met and he immediately gave me a hug (still one of my favorite things that he does). While I was visiting, I got to work with the training staff and learn how I would be able to keep teaching my boy how to follow the commands he was learning and how to teach him new commands. I visited a few more times before the end of the year and even got to have sleep overs with him at a friend's house.
Since January of 2016, my boy has been with me in Hawaii. He has been hiking trails with me and slowly learning that moving water (creeks and the ocean) is not scary.
He has been my saving grace when I am at my low points. I look forward to going to a long walk each evening to decompress and get his energy out. I think we are doing a few miles each night and he loves it!
I adore my boy and am so thankful that he is in my life. I am so grateful to the matchmaker who helped me find him and helped make all of this happen.

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Do Good Things - SGT Williams

Army Sergeant Eric Edward Williams, 27, from Murrieta, CA, was hit with indirect fire five years ago at Forward Operating Base Shank, Afghanistan. SGT Williams was a Flight Medic for the 3rd Battalion, 82nd Combat Aviation Brigade, 82nd Airborne Division based out of Fort Bragg, NC.

I had the honor of working with SGT Williams for approximately 4 months on FOB Sharana in Regional Command - East, Afghanistan. SGT Williams was an amazing medic, leader, and friend. He has influenced countless people through the lives he has saved. SGT Williams is a true example of what it means to put others before oneself. The short time I had to know SGT Williams truly changed my life for the better.

On 17JUL2012, SGT Williams posted his final blog entry. Clicking on his picture above will take you to his site. Here is the opening and closing of his final entry:

"This deployment is coming to an end, in a few days we will be on a plane back to the United States to rejoin our family and friends and to try to readjust to a certain semblance of what we think life should be. The truth is everything has changed, we collectively have changed. We have changed as people, as an army, as citizens of the United States."

"So in closing, while reading this you might think I’ve become some angry disillusioned man, someone who sees things so much different than the average citizen, well maybe your right. But I can only hope that things someday will change. As for our accomplishments here in Afghanistan, I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I will forever hold these experiences close. "

Do Good Things