In Review

I started this year deployed to Afghanistan working as a Critical Care Nurse in Regional Command- South. The previous 6 months were spent working with an Army DUSTOFF unit in Regional Command - East. There are some amazing friendships that came from this deployment. There are some experiences and memories that have and will continue to shape who I am and will be.

 

I saw a lot. I heard a lot. I did a lot. I endured a lot.

 

At the close of my deployment, I was ready to get home. I was ready to begin the recovery phase of deployment. I was wanting to start the healing process.

 

I thought I was strong enough. I was not.

 

My 30-day leave was voluntarily cut short. I was still hurting, still felt lost. I arrived home to WA to a Leadership that was scared for me and afraid they did not know what to do. It was a learning experience for us both.

 

Holidays were spent with family, the people that no matter what happens will continue to love me and support me as I work to get my feet back on solid ground.

 

Now I sit in my own apartment. First time in over 18 months that I have been on my own. It is so quiet. The lack of sound is something that I am sure I will grow accustomed to, but for now it is strange.

 

2012 has been a challenge. A challenge that would not want to have missed out on, but one I wish could have been a little easier.

 

My hope for 2013 is that I continue to heal and learn from my experiences. I hope that this year is easier and safer. I hope that I can sit here again next year and tell you happier stories.

 

To my family and friends that have loved me unconditionally,

I am forever grateful for your presence in my life. The encouraging emails, text messages, phone calls, and visits have been what has kept me grounded. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you holding me up when I was too weak to carry on.

 

 

Sergeant Eric E Williams

July 23, 2012

"do good things"



Family Christmas Dinner

A big family Christmas dinner this year. New family members joined us at the table (okay, three tables). Of course the potluck meal was AMAZING!!!

 

Opening presents was a lot of fun. Our secret Santa names were drawn at Thanksgiving giving us time to create gifts for each other. When I say "create", there are times when the gift is homemade. Most often the gift is a fun and meaningful individualized present that brings lots of smiles to everyone in the room.

 

Mackenzie was ready for her favorite part of the meal, deviled eggs! Thankfully she was willing to share with the rest of us.

Swedish Christmas Eve

Holiday meals with family are always something to look forward to. First, getting to spend time with family and swapping stories of our busy lives during the past few months. Missing Christmas Eve with my family last year made this one even more special. And second, I love our family's holiday food!!

Back to Work

I was called into my Boss's Boss's Boss's office today. (Tracking?) My world remains in constant state of change. Every 30-45 days I have been placed in a new job assignment, each supposed to help me in my difficulty adjusting to being away from the deployed world.

 

New plan is to return me to patient care. I will no longer be working for the same Rater and will be moved to the other ICU within MAMC.

 

Mixed feelings. Glad to be under a different Rater, but disappointed to not get to work with some of the people that have been supporting me through this.

Where I Am Today

I don't understand this place anymore. There is a new challenge, an unknown challenge. The unknown keeps you ready, keeps your senses keen.

 

It seems I’ve grown accustomed to working within a combat oriented doctrine. And although there are a few that I work with that have experienced similar circumstances, there is something to be said for being deployed away from MEDCOM leaders and being with fellow soldiers. There’s a connection there that is unparalleled by anything that I have experienced so far. But now I’m no longer working with the "real" Army, so it makes sense that everything has changed. There are so many people that I work with that I truly like and get along with but there’s a different atmosphere that I had grown accustomed to and have not yet adjusted to hospital life. I don't know that I am meant to stay a "hospital" nurse. I’m meant to be out there, doing my job when its truly needed. I will take what I am learning here and become a better soldier and nurse. That’s all that I can do.

 

 

*It rocked everything inside you...and there was nothing but silence. Only the sound of the ringing in your ears was heard. And the ringing goes on and on... We carry the scars of our experiences with us for the rest of our lives, it is forever a part of us.