During conversation the guy found out I was medical and Army. He then proceeded to tell me all about his friend who was shot just outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan. Prior to being shot, the young soldier had lost his teammate from a dismounted IED (improvised explosive device).
I hear these stories all the time. While they are not pleasant to listen to, they are a part of my reality. They are a part of the reality of so many military members.
But this conversation was a trigger. It rocked me. Thankfully my buddy was nearby and provided some distraction. He stepped away when my buddy saw my face. As I fought back tears, she gathered the rest of our group and we headed home.
I went to my room to change into PJs. I could barely stand as I couldn't stop crying. Not just soft tears, but actual sobbing. My buddy found me and I just cried. I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. A little ambien and I finally fell asleep.
Many people have told me that this often takes a year. Others have also said that there will be moments when it will just hit.
I have hit the one year mark. While it has gotten a lot easier, tonight was a reminder that I still have a ways to go.
It is events like this one that I am beyond grateful to have friends and family in my life that I can run to and not be judged for having true and painful emotion.
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