Another Rough Day at the Pool

My Speed Bump

While out with friends this evening at a local country bar I hit a pretty big speed bump. My last conversation of the night was one that hit a trigger that I did not know was there.

 

During conversation the guy found out I was medical and Army. He then proceeded to tell me all about his friend who was shot just outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan. Prior to being shot, the young soldier had lost his teammate from a dismounted IED (improvised explosive device).

 

I hear these stories all the time. While they are not pleasant to listen to, they are a part of my reality. They are a part of the reality of so many military members.

 

But this conversation was a trigger. It rocked me. Thankfully my buddy was nearby and provided some distraction. He stepped away when my buddy saw my face. As I fought back tears, she gathered the rest of our group and we headed home.

 

I went to my room to change into PJs. I could barely stand as I couldn't stop crying. Not just soft tears, but actual sobbing. My buddy found me and I just cried. I couldn't have stopped even if I wanted to. A little ambien and I finally fell asleep.

 

Many people have told me that this often takes a year. Others have also said that there will be moments when it will just hit.

 

I have hit the one year mark. While it has gotten a lot easier, tonight was a reminder that I still have a ways to go.

 

It is events like this one that I am beyond grateful to have friends and family in my life that I can run to and not be judged for having true and painful emotion.

Out For the Night

Through the good times and the rough times, my buddy has never left my side. I am so blessed to have such a great friend in my life to celebrate with and to cry with.

Yer Purdy!

Dining In

Dang! My buddy can cook! Dinner was delicious!!! No more eating out for me. I have been spoiled with some homemade amazingness!

Dining Out

This was the first time I had had Dim Sum...and I am hooked!!!

Delicious and really fun to try new things!

Honoring the California Fallen

Army Specialist Javier Sanchez Jr., 28, of Greenfield, CA, was assigned to Special Troops Battalion, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 10th Mountain Division, Fort Drum, NY. SPC Sanchez died in Sar Rowzah, Afghanistan, of wounds caused by an improvised explosive device.

I Love This Kid

This is baby Kelsesa. She is the little girl that helped me in October realize that it was okay to "come home". She is still stinking adorable. Her playful personality is enchanting!

I am so thankful for this baby girl.

Good-Bye Friend

This teddy bear was given to me while I was travelling home from Afghanistan. It had been a rough few days leading up to the start of my travels when this bear showed up on my bunk. I spent every night in Bagram, Kuwait, and almost every night since with this bear. It has become my security blanket. (I know, I am 32 years old. But trust me, I needed this bear.)

 

Now it's time for this teddy bear to comfort someone else. A friend who has come across a pretty big speed bump in their life needs the tangible reminder of how much they are loved.

 

While I am actually kind of sad to be sending this teddy bear away, I am hopeful that it can bring the same level of comfort and security to my friend that it brought to me.

New Mexico is Really Hot!

I had the pleasure of a last minute trip to visit a friend in Albuquerque, NM. Danielle was one of the Air Force pilots I had the privilege of flying with while in Afghanistan. And while we were there she became an awesome friend. Since we came home last year we have seen each other a  few different times and I love every minute of each visit.

 

This is one of those friendships that I believe to be a God-thing. Danielle entered my life right when I needed a friend. And I can honestly say that her friendship is what got me home.

My Birthday

I spent my 32nd birthday with my co-workers. They are so awesome that they even hosted a little birthday party. Since I couldn't be with my family, this was a nice way to spend my special day!

Driving to Work

What a rough life!

Honoring the California Fallen

Army Specialist Ray A. Ramirez, 20, of Sacramento, CA, was assigned to 3rd Battalion, 15th Infantry Regiment, 4th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 3rd Infantry Division, Fort Stewart, GA. SPC Ramirez died in Wardak province, Afghanistan, from injuries caused by an improvised explosive device.